The first born
- The oldest child has more responsibilities at home, like helping with chores and looking out for the younger siblings.
- They tend to be more domineering because they learn to copy adult behaviour from a young age.
- When a new baby (the second child) is born, they experience loss: loss of attention and sometimes property. Parents are stricter with the oldest child and you can often hear them say things like: "you should know better, you are the oldest."”
- Parents are also more careful and cautious with the first child; they are more worried about their health and worried that they will get hurt. This can make the older child more careful.
The middle child
- The middle child also gets a lot of attention while being the baby in the home, until the third child is born. It is believed that middle children are more competitive. They often try to acquire the same skills the older sibling has already mastered.
- Because middle children are not the oldest or youngest, they feel they are denied privileges because the oldest child is more likely to be trusted with chores and responsibilities and the youngest is favoured.
- Theories has it that middle children have low self-esteem as they are viewed as the sibling who got less attention, but in many cases middle children have proved this theory wrong.
The youngest child
- The 'baby' gets more attention for a longer time. Parents are often more relaxed and lenient with this child. But youngest children have parents plus older siblings looking out for them and correcting them whenever they get the chance.
- Theories also suggest that the oldest child is the responsible one while the youngest child is the relaxed sport of the family. Once again this theory isn't proved to be correct.
The roles of the children, their unique personalities, parental behaviour and parenting styles play a major role in the sibling dynamics. No two children are the same, just as no two families are the same. So although these theories are interesting and has some valuable insights, children should be approached as unique individuals.
You might want to read more about the opportunities you have to listen to what your child has to say.
