How many times hasn’t this happened? You inadvertently stub your toe or drop a valuable object, and before you know it, an expletive has popped out of your mouth. Sometime during the next week, you hear Junior uttering that same word and you giggle to yourself but at the same time feel somewhat ashamed.
Adults are powerful figures in a child’s life. When I ask a child to re-explain a lesson I have taught, I hear myself come out of that child’s mouth. The intonation and words are virtually verbatim.
As a teacher, I hear the child’s parents through the offspring in my care. Political affiliations, attitudes towards others, religious views, money issues, relationship traits – children do not have a filter. They share with abandon!
So… here are some good examples you can set for your children:
- Have a “pay it forward” outlook and let your child witness your kindness and generosity towards strangers.
- Treat all people with dignity and respect. Speak politely to those in the service industry and use “please” and “thank you” a lot.
- Give fellow drivers a gap in the traffic. Yes. Even those taxis that make you crazy. Smile and wave them in in front of you. No snarling or rude hand signs.
- Do not gossip. Children cannot hide the fact that you have been running someone down. They behave awkwardly when faced with that person and experience cognitive dissonance when they see you behaving in a friendly fashion towards these same people.
- Share. Your time, money and smile. Let your child witness your generosity through donations that you make; be it blood, clothes you no longer wear, toys your child no longer plays with or uneaten food. As long as your donations are not grubby, tatty or rotten, they will be gratefully received. Your child will be raised with a sharing attitude, unconsciously instilled as the norm.
- Be loving towards your partner and child. Speak gently, use touch often, show that you care by listening to them and use terms of endearment. Laugh a lot.
- Don’t set ridiculously high standards and when things go awry, ask yourself the question, “Will this matter in a week, a month or a year from now?” If the answer is no, let it go. Don’t make a big issue out of realistically inconsequential things.
Try these tips for a week or two and you’ll be amazed at the difference you see in yourself and your family.
You might also want to read about how to help your kids set SMART goals.
