The importance of spending time with dad
Parents are vital for the emotional well-being of their children as they teach children how to behave, how to love, how to be kind and caring and set the right principles and moral for life.
Research shows that if your child's father is loving, supportive, and involved, he can contribute to a great extend to the child's cognitive, language, and social development, good academic achievement and a strong self-esteem.
How fathers influence children’s relationships
The child's relationship with their father can affect all their other relationships, including ones with friends, lovers, and spouses. This means that the interactions with the father can change and mold the child’s view in life and can have a profound influence on existing and future relationships.
Girls
Girls will look for men who are behaving similar to their dad as they feel familiar and comfortable with that. Therefore, if the father is kind, loving, and involved, they will look for those characteristics in their boyfriends or husband. Children look for what they have experienced and become familiar with in childhood. Because they've gotten used to certain behavioural patterns in their father, they think that they can deal with them in relationships.
Boys
Boys on the other hand, will copy their fathers and behave in a similar way. They will look for their father's approval in everything they do, and copy behaviours that they see as both successful and familiar. Hence, if dad is abusive, controlling, and dominating, those can be the patterns that their sons might imitate and act out in their relationships with others.
However, if the father is loving, supportive and protective, often boys will want to be like that too.
Self-esteem and scholastic performance
We, as human beings, are “social animals” and we learn by copying our parent’s behaviour. Those early patterns and behaviours of our interaction are all children know, and it is those exact patterns that effect how they feel about themselves, how they behave and how they develop.
It is very interesting what research shows how a good relationship with dad can influence different areas in a child’s life, also the scholastic performance.
For example, girls tend to do better in mathematics in school, and boys tend to have better grades or perform better on achievement tests.
Family structures are changing
Over the last decades the traditional family structure has started to change. More and more women are focusing on their careers and men are taking over additional family roles like running the household, looking after the children and being more involved in the day to day running of the family.
A recent study by the National Institute of Child Health and Human Development (NICHD), shows that fathers are more engaged in caretaking than ever before.
The research found that children who have fathers that are involved and caring tend to have less behavioural problems, and are somewhat stronger in deciding against alcohol and drug abuse.
This indicates that fathers are as important as mothers in their roles as parents, protectors, financial supporters, and most importantly, role-models for the social and emotional behaviour of their children.
What if dad isn’t close by?
Having said this, do not be alarmed if the father has to work long hours, has work in another town or if the parents are divorced. Even when fathers are physically removed from their families, there are ways for them to develop healthy relationships with the children. Fathers need to realise that they matter and can shape their child’s future greatly.
Showing interest in the child, phoning him/her regularly, being part of the daily routines even if it is via Skype or phone call can create a close bond as well. It is important to spend some quality time with the child, which can be one or two hours a week. This can often be enough for a child if he/she feels that this time is just for the child because he/she is special to the parent. What counts is all quality, not quantity of the time spent together.
There are many reasons why fathers should be part of their child’s life and it is interesting to see how a good relationship with love, care, good listening skills, granting appropriate freedom, being there to support and setting clear rules and boundaries can develop happy children who have the ability to do well in life and gain the necessary resilience to cope with difficult situations.
In summary, the key point to remember is not to focus on who's more important but understand that dads are vital in all the ways moms are. "We hope findings like these will encourage men to become more involved in their children's care," says Dr. Rohner (Study for Parental Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut).
Use your time wisely and keep in mind that being involved in your child’s life will have long-term and long-lasting benefits.
For further information or courses on parenting or emotional intelligence skills for children, contact EQ Advantedge, 031-2668563/ info@eq-advantedge.co.za (eq-advantedge.co.za).
You might want to read more about kids watching television and if this is considered educational.
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Tiaan Lötter
Teacher
Tiaan Lötter is a digital learning enthusiast and Google Certified Innovator. He has a background in Public and Private Secondary Education teaching Afrikaans as a first additional language. Through his teaching, he strives to use technology in his lessons in pedagogically valuable methods to engage students in learning opportunities. He presents at summits, conferences and workshops on the integration of digital technologies into education. He believes failure is a step to success and that all teachers are superheroes. Education 2014 Google Educator Certification 2013 Google Certified Teacher 2012 Post-Grad Certificate in Education 2012 Post-Grad Certificate in Editing (English) 2009 Post-Grad Certificate in Pension Fund Law Post-Grad Certificate in Advanced Company Law 2008 B.Com Law (Economics major) 2003 Grade 12 / Matric (National Senior Certificate) Skills
- • Geek-level computer skills on Windows and Apple Mac.
• Excellent education and technology integration skills regarding Apple Apps and Google Apps For Education using pads/tablets and macs/computers.
• Training in the context of professional development regarding the integration of technology in teaching.
• Training provided:
o Google Apps for Education: Chrome and Extensions / Google Drive and Extensions / Google Sites
o Augmented Reality (Setting up and using Aurasma and Daqri apps)
• Compiling training / educational material in the context of a classroom and professional development.
• Notably:
o Wrote and contributed to grade 9, 10 and 11 Afrikaans First Additional Language textbooks.
o Developed poetry resources across multiple platforms like Prezi, Keynote and Google Drive Slides.
o Developed language in context resources using Keynote.
o Developed prose resources using Aurasma's augmented reality.
o Following creationist theory with learner work.
• Attended Google Educator Group Leader training workshop.
• Excellent editing, proofing and translating of English and Afrikaans.
• Excellent written and verbal communication in English and Afrikaans.
Contributors
- Andrea Kellerman
- Anne-Marie Stanisavljevic
- Casha Meintjes
- Celynn Erasmus
- Dr. Jacobus Lieb Liebenberg
- Dr. Melodie De Jager
- Dr. Pieter Kitshoff
- Estelle Barnard
- Frank Magwegwe
- Green Beings
- Jennifer Cosslett
- Joanie Strauss
- Keren Hoy
- Leanne Kiezer
- Lourika Horn
- Marené Jooste
- Marinda Botha
- Marlene Mouton
- Melissa Roos
- Mind Moves
- Monique Theron
- Opti-Baby and Kids
- Paper Video
- Paulus Pilatus
- Phumeza Langa
- Prof. Dr. Ina Shaw
- Rozanne Vincent
- Saurabh Tyagi
- Sister Sonja Sauer
- Stephanie Makhlouf
- Takudzwa Collen Hanyani
- Tiaan Lötter
- Wietske Boon
- Window 2 Learning Excellence